I struggle with depression and anxiety and I have done for years. I have good periods and bad periods, and sometimes it can even fluctuate from day to day, but there are a few specific things that I feel have helped me get by, or even overcome the worst of it, when I’ve been stuck in a bad place.
While these things don’t cure me, or make me instantly happy, they do help make me feel more zen and comforted in those darker and lonelier moments.
It was my 21st birthday last month and I am determined to make a change in a few areas in my life.
I’ve been seeing a counsellor for my depression as of last week, which is a baby step taken on the road to a healthier me. I’m working to get on top of my university work at the moment, and I am tidying my living space more often in the hopes that the tidy home, tidy mind concept will further help my mental health.
These things are small, every day phases I go through every couple of months. They’re nothing new to me, as is falling out of those routines is nothing new either. I’m good at starting things with good intentions, and then getting myself into a state of…
“What’s the point in even trying?”
I’ve always put my desires aside because of this; I felt they were stupid, pointless to chase after as there was no way I’d be able to succeed in any of them. Starting a blog, starting a YouTube channel, starting anything that put myself out there in front of millions of people, completely naked for all to see. Why would someone want to read a blog like mine – one with content that was just like everybody else’s, where nothing is new and exciting and that could make me seem more appealing?
Now I realise it’s not about the level of success, but how much joy you get out of it on your journey. So here I am, starting my blog, something I’d tried and failed at multiple times simply through fear of failing (the irony!).
People may start their new year, new you at the start of the calendar year, but here’s me, starting my new year, new me at the start of my 22nd year on this planet.
~ Beka
BEKA 